Word to the guys: if a friend asked you to be the best man at his wedding, keep in mind that it’s different from the time back in college when he asked if he could borrow your car. Being a best man entails several key roles that need to be fulfilled to help carry out a successful wedding.

You are the brother (if not) from another mother so your relationship is put to the test. Of course getting hitched would mean less time to hang out, but the respect for your friendship and the couple should be your priority. And as a man, the groom usually doesn’t seek help. So the best man should rely on years of experience and friendship to properly read his bro’s mind and do what he can to help.

Pre-wedding preparations

  • All the King’s Men

    As best man, you should help the groom filter out the best choices for groomsmen. The right guys should be dependable, someone who can actually help you during the planning stages, and not just someone who looks good in a tux.

  • The Voice of Reason

    More often than not, the wedding planning goes to the bride and her maid of honor. It can be quite stressful to jump through loops like never-ending fittings, planning the reception, meticulously picking out the floral arrangements, and a bazillion other details that can make the wedding more complicated than a presidential election.

    The best man’s mission here is to take some of the load off the groom’s mind and keep him sane long enough to say “I do”. The best man should also communicate with the wedding planners and inform them if they’re going too far.  He is also responsible for getting people involved and in the know about the status of the groom (like where he is, how he’s doing) – before and during the wedding day. 

  • The Organizer and host

    Two words: Bachelor Party. The last shindig the groom has as a single male homo-erectus. This party should be smashing and encompassing of all the years spent with the groom. Your burden here is to invite people to the event, arrange the entertainment, food, alcohol, and make sure that the bride only gets around 20% information on what happened that night.
    Keep in mind that this is a sort of sending away party. As much as possible, invite only those who are involved, and make the event reasonably intimate (or some masculine counterpart of the term) and equally fun.        

  • The diazepam/joker


    As the date draws closer, you can imagine the nerves of the groom crumbling. Your job here is to tell jokes and keep his head level. Saying “it’s going to be alright” is just as helpful as an algae helping the environment. Saying “just a few more days and it’ll all be over” is a sin in itself.
    Calming him down with jokes greatly relieves stress. For one, you are actually making the whole thing enjoyable rather than bearable. Feel free to make fun of the wedding cake, bride’s maids, or even the stupid tux the both of you are wearing.

  • The Lord of the Rings


    The subject of many jokes and wedding movies, the best man is always the keeper of the wedding rings. Losing the rings is an automatic death sentence. Keep in mind that the bride’s heels are very sharp. Also avoid joking about the rings or comparing them with others.

On-the-Day Responsibilities

  • The catcher

    Having gone this far, glitches can still occur. The title of best man allows you to have access to information regarding anything that goes on during that day. One of which is to filter out bad news.

    So the band you booked won’t be able to play later on. Don’t let the groom find out until you’ve already thought of a solution.  So the bride’s parents are looking for him.  Give him the pep talk of what to say and what not to say.  So the bride hasn’t arrived yet.  Calm him down, no need to be paranoid.

  • The host


    Now that he’s married, try to pull out all the stops during the reception. Tell jokes, do impressions, and tell stories. Just keep in mind that the moral of the story should always be, that the groom has never been happier, and that today will be the start of a new and happy life. A well written speech is a must. A few tears on the side is always forgivable.  

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