Being Daddy Dearest

Every father in the world misses the days where they are the mountain in their kids’ world. Today, they are overshadowed by the internet, television, fads, and most of all, growing up.

They never stop talking, or they don’t say a word, and we’re not even sure if they’re listening or not. The stereotype of fathers being the strong quiet non-emotional bread whiner has now been replaced with a more current paradigm that involves everyone in the family.

Today’s kids are more fragile, and without constant correct communication, relationships would be harder as the years go by. So for daddies who want to be on-the-know on what works with kids and teenagers today.

At this point, you are their rock and source of inspiration. Your competitors here are superheroes and action figures come to life in their dreams. You stand for the high expectation of what they want to be or surpass. Be mindful of what you say and always be open to anything he shares. This is a very fragile age range so do your best, share your experiences, and (perhaps most importantly) stretch your patience.

The Watchful Hero

There is a fine line between trust and dependence. Always keep a watchful eye on your pre-teen and always be ready to extend a helping hand. Always have words of encouragement prepared, instead of one of those “You’re doing it wrong” spiels. Mold his spirit with actions and don’t break it with words. Whenever you feel he’ll fall short of accomplishing something, lend a hand. Talk about experiences you had before that’s similar. And always let him know that his potential exceeds yours from back in your day.

The Semi-Nag

A more present version of the watchful hero, the semi-nag keeps a line of communication open between him and his son. Allow yourself to be mildly irritating, but know when to back off. Boys are known to be expert teasers so go ahead and make fun of his little crushes and attempts at being cool. Just be sure to have a comeback that negates everything and set him in a better mood. Don’t be serious, just have fun.

The Partner-in-Crime

Knowing how these kids can be master tricksters, make sure to take part in some of the action. There are several pranks that kids today can pull, especially with the help of the internet. Of course for them, getting the logistics can be a bit hard to deal with, but that’s what your paycheck is for. Kids often do pointless things that sometimes cost a lot. A small sacrifice can be a memory the both of you will look back on and laugh at for the years to come.

Click here to see a short film about father-son talks

They are nearing the most nostalgic stage of their lives, and you know this by experience. It’s also a turning point for most kids these days. He’s also on the yellow brick road towards college. Make sure he’s prepared for mean professors, meaner girls, and the world. Make your words count before time runs out.

The Checklist

While mom helps him pack his things, teach him stuff that he’ll need to survive college, and eventually the outer real world. Driving would be a good example. Also have the talk as to what course he wants to enter. Know all the options and be ready to support whatever he chooses. But don’t be afraid to criticize his choice either. It’s part of your job to help him realize what he wants to be.

The Optimist

Whatever he wants in his career, think highly of it, and of him. If he wants to be a lawyer, tell your friends you’re son will be chief justice one day. If he wants to be a painter, call him the next national artist. Always let him know that his career path is sacred, and most of all, let him believe that achieving greatness is possible.

Never shove in his face the career you yourself took (unless that’s what he earnestly wants), and more importantly, never make him live out your dreams. Help him live his own life, and not the one you wish you had.

Click here for tips on how to connect with your preteen

At this point, you might want more visibility for yourself and your words. Dads at this stage are sometimes taken for granted because daughters tend to stick to their moms the most at this stage. Here are some pieces of advice that can help better your relationship with your little princess.

The Open Dictionary

While you might not be the source of emotional inspiration or the go-to person when things get rough, be an all-knowing guide and master of the non-female universe. Knowledge goes a long way, and it would be a good idea for you to be her steadfast reference when it comes to subjects that don’t deal with female hormones, PMS, or god forbid, Justin Bieber’s latest single.

Having her know and believe that you are her go-to person for other concerns in her life means opening a hallway wherein she now has more reasons to approach you. Literature, knowledge, and the big right-and-wrong concerns of life can help forge your relationship as great friends when you least expect them to be.

The Opinionated Gentleman

In every conversation, have your say in the matter. Never just nod at anything she or the wife says. Always have valid arguments ready, and a few punch lines are also welcome. Let her know that you are listening to her.

Accept her opinions and hear what she has to say. Make her realize that she’s a lot smarter than she thinks. You achieve this task by listening to every word and every concern she has, even if it gets to the point where an intergalactic entity speaking in Klingon makes more sense than her.

Click here to learn on how to talk to your daughter about puberty.

This is just as hard for you as it is enjoyable for her. This age is frightening but unavoidable. Keep in mind that the world will go on no matter how hard you want things to remain the way they are. Your daughter deserves to bloom like the beautiful orchid that she is. Do not ruin this moment. Be ready and simply forge on.

And above all else, equip yourself for the fact that from this point on, you will slowly have to go through the painful stage of letting her go, and allowing her to form her own life, even if you are pushed to the backdrop. But if your past acts are to reap benefits, one will be the fact that instead of being pushed aside, you will become one of her beacons as she takes her nerve-wracking journey to the outside.

Mr. Exaggeration

Your daughter has a suitor? Tell her that the only way to get to your doorstep is by climbing the highest mountains, diving into the deepest deeps, and counting to infinity twice. Let her know that she’s too important for you to let just any person get close to her. This notion will boost her self-esteem as your daughter, while saying something to the trembling guy wondering if he’s sitting in your sofa the right way. Of course these are just words; don’t follow through so much. Eventually your daughter will get your drift and simply laugh along.

Click here for tips on how to survive your daughter’s teenage years